Saturday, April 28, 2012

As If Bend Didn't Suck Hard Enough, Now We Have Hipsters

In a previous post I wrote about some of the poseurs who inhabit Bend, notably including the "elite athlete" poseurs. Unfortunately I neglected to mention one of the more obnoxious breeds of poseur that has started to infest this town in the past five or six years or so: the hipster.

Hipsters can be identified by, among other things, their tight black jeans, their Chuck Taylor sneakers, their abundant tattoos and their fondness for bicycles (single-speed, preferably) and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, or "PBR" or "Peeber," as they call it. The last item alone tells you how execrable their tastes are. When I was starting to drink beer many years ago in New Jersey, Pabst was what you drank when nothing else was available. And it hasn't gotten better.

Hipsters have no visible means of support; it's suspected that most of them are living off trust funds. They spend their days hanging out in coffee shops surfing the Web on their iPads or MacBooks (they would never dream of owning a non-Apple product) or texting other hipsters on their iPhones (or calling their parents to ask them to send more money).

How hipsters spend their nights is something I don't know and don't want to know.

Portland is hipster heaven, as anybody who's watched the excellent comedy series "Portlandia" knows. The hipsters of Bend possibly are an overflow from Portland. It is to be hoped the climate here will prove too cold for them and they'll migrate elsewhere.

Meanwhile, for your entertainment and edification, here's a video to help you understand the Evolution of the Hipster from earlier species, including the beatnik and the hippy:


9 comments:

How Did I Get Here? said...

Hipsters aren't a Bend problem. Like meth, they're everywhere. I've never seen so much effort put into something so pointless.

Tattoo removal is a growth industry..

Marshall_Will said...

No, PBR hsasn't gotten 'better'. At a party the other night and had one. Every bit as awful as I remember. Point being, there's LOTS of crappy beers out there, why PBR?

I actually miss the grainy taste of Falstaff, Meister Brau etc. When I think of all the original hepcats and hipsters they'd probably turn over in their grave seeing what the movement has become.

George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, hell, most of the early 'rockers' were more hepcats than anything. ISTR the majority didn't advocate drugs/altered states for the masses either?

Are hipsters good for Bend businesses? Who knows, I don't think they do much for Portland?

H. Bruce Miller said...

"Are hipsters good for Bend businesses?"

I don't see how they could be; the only businesses they appear to patronize are coffee shops, and they'll sit in one for five hours nursing one drink.

Marshall_Will said...

They still have to pay rent, buy hip clothes and eat ONCE in awhile?

Might make for an interesting retail survey. Recall the 70's where basically everything was purchased w/ cash or done without.

Their frugalness may be the the face of America's consumer future? It's the expansion and EXPLOSION of consumer credit that's brought us to where we are.

So that I applaud, just need to skip the attitude and we're good.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"Hipsters aren't a Bend problem." Not EXCLUSIVELY, of course. But they ARE a Bend problem. Or anyway, a Bend nuisance.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"They still have to pay rent, buy hip clothes and eat ONCE in awhile?"

And buy PBR, of course.

I don't know where in Bend they'd go to buy their hipster clothes, though. Goodwill, probably.

How Did I Get Here? said...

"But they ARE a Bend problem. Or anyway, a Bend nuisance.

I don't know that I care all that much, I just think they're kooky. It does give you something to look at in a relatively boring, cultural landscape. They're all hoping you'll gawk anyway. Lotta effort goes into that look and you won't find them where they can't be seen.

On the kook scale, I put hipsters right up there with those people that do the mock medieval battle stuff in drake park.

The irony thing was funny for about an hour back in 2004.

Trying so hard to be different, just like everyone else.

Oh well, the flip side on that is, it could be worse. Hipsters are pretty harmless and if they want to stick hockey pucks in their ears and drink shitty beer, I'm gonna let them.

Marshall_Will said...

"and you won't find them where they can't be seen"

Pretty much true for attention whores of all stripes. Still, I'm reluctant to lump them in w/ all the OWS/Mook crowd.

However annoying we might find them on days were just too busy to MESS w/ (1) more self-disenfranchised/self-important dissident, they're generally law-abiding.

Being a closet purist/bohemian thru the last (2) Bubbles hasn't been easy either. Why doesn't Marshall join WVCC? Certainly could afford it! Why does he pack a lunch? Cut his own lawn, hair?

Suddenly they get it. Too late but..?

H. Bruce Miller said...

"It does give you something to look at in a relatively boring, cultural landscape."

Yes, there is that. I guess we should be grateful to the hipsters for providing some entertainment.