Wednesday, September 21, 2011

A Bendite in Pa#a#i#e.

This is not a sunset over the Cascades.

I am now several thousand miles away from Bend, thanks be to God and Alaska Airlines. The weather is warm and sunny, the ocean is delightful to swim in, the palm trees are swaying in the trade winds, and everything is perfect.

In short, it is pa#a#i#e. I promised myself not to use that hackneyed word, which is why I'm not spelling it out. Let's just say that Hawaii is what Bend pretends to be, but isn't.

And the shittiest day here is better than the best day in Bend.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Summer, We Hardly Knew Ye

R.I.P. Oregon Summer

Born July 15, 2011 -- Died September 15, 2011

"Gone, and Soon Forgotten"

Thursday, September 8, 2011

We're Fucked -- The Bitch Is Coming Back

My colleague in bloggery, Jack Elliott, recently forwarded to me a story in Science Daily headlined: "Evidence suggests La Nina will return."

La Nina (Spanish for "The Bitch") is a weather pattern that pushes the jet stream northward, which makes the Southwest hotter and drier than normal and the Northwest and Pacific Coast colder and wetter than normal. La Nina was blamed for the record-breaking suckiness of the spring and early summer experienced by Washington, Oregon and Northern California this year.

And now The Bitch is getting ready to return. At any rate that's what the scientists at NOAA's Climate Prediction Center say.

"In July, the CPC issued a La Niña Watch, indicating favorable conditions for the development of another La Niña event in the next six months," the Science Daily story reports. "With colder-than-average waters once again upwelling in the tropical Pacific Ocean, La Niña appears to be re-forming.

"'Temperatures below the sea surface have decreased quite markedly in the last few months,' said David Unger, meteorologist at the CPC.

"In addition, he said, the Climate Forecast System model -- a state-of-the-art climate model that integrates interactions between Earth's oceans, land, and atmosphere -- has been impressive in its prediction capabilities in the last few years and has been increasingly more confident in the development of a La Niña this winter."

This news only confirms my determination to make the coming winter the last one I spend in Bend, Oregon.

And I'm already thinking about booking a place in Palm Springs for March, April and May, when the interminable Bend winter really starts to induce thoughts of murder and mayhem.

Friday, September 2, 2011

At Last, Normalcy: August Behaved Like August

Well, this is easy: Every day in August recorded a high above 70 degrees except for the last day of the month, when the thermometer only managed to creep up to 66.

Twenty-three days experienced highs in the 80s, and five were in the 90s. Which is just the way things should be, because August is normally Bend's hottest month.

The cold front that brought us that 66-degree day has moved on to the Upper Midwest, and temperatures are predicted to reach the mid- to upper 80s during the Labor Day weekend. Which, again, is the way things should be.

Leaving us with the question: Will we have a real, honest-to-God Indian summer this year to partly compensate us for our totally suckitudinous spring and early summer? We haven't had one in three years, which makes me doubtful. But we shall see.

Totals for August:

Comfortable Days: 30
Tolerable Days: 1
Cold Days: 0

Totals YTD:

Comfortable Days: 68
Tolerable Days: 34
Cold Days: 22