Monday, October 10, 2011

Why I Never (Well, Hardly Ever) Wear Jeans

I own two pairs of jeans. I put one on occasionally, mostly when I need to do some gardening or other messy chores. Most of the time the jeans just lie in the bottom of my closet. I don't like to wear jeans.

Why? Well, in the first place, although other people seem to think jeans are the most comfortable garment ever invented, I don't agree. I think jeans are uncomfortable. They're heavy, they're stiff, they're scratchy.

I guess if you wear a pair of jeans every day for three or four years they'll get soft and flexible. But who wants to wait that long?

Jeans don't look good on me either. I don't think they look good on anybody. Okay, they look good on women with great bodies. But everything looks good on them.

The other reason I don't wear jeans -- which is probably the big one -- is that everybody in Bend always wears jeans. Next time you're traveling around town, notice how many of the Bendoids you see are wearing jeans. I'd bet the proportion is about eight out of 10 -- nine out of 10, if you just count males. (The 10th guy is wearing Lycra bicycling shorts.)

I've never liked to dress like everybody else, and the male Bend uniform -- jeans and a hoody in the winter, jeans and a T-shirt in the summer -- strikes me as especially monotonous, unattractive, drab and colorless. So I usually wear khakis and a shirt, and throw on a sweater if it's chilly.

And sometimes, when I want to really freak out the yokels, I'll add a sport coat.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

"Indian Summer"? Fuhgeddaboudit.

How hard does THIS suck???

After the hottest September on record -- 13 days with highs in the 90s and five more with highs in the 80s -- Bend reverted to its usual cold, grim, gray, dismal, drizzly form in October, and promises to continue in the same sucktacular mode from now until July, at least.

Every year the winters here seem to start sooner and drag on longer, and the pitifully brief summer gets even more pitiful and brief. Once upon a time Bendoids could pretty much count on decent weather through October, but that's a thing of the past.

Damn, this place sucks.

Totals for September:

Comfortable Days: 24
Tolerable Days: 6
Cold Days: 0

Totals YTD:

Comfortable Days: 92
Tolerable Days: 40
Cold Days: 22