Monday, May 23, 2011

"It Clears Up So It Can Get Colder"

7:04 a.m.: Suck-free
8:22 a.m.: Suckiness moving in
10:57 a.m.: 100% complete suckiness achieved

 7:02 p.m.: Cleared up and ready to get colder
Long, long ago, when I had lived in Bend for only a year or two, I commented on a peculiar local weather phenomenon to one of my colleagues at The Bulletin who had lived here all her life.

"I've noticed that many times the day starts off clear, and then it gets cloudier and cloudier until it's completely cloudy, and then just before sunset the clouds mysteriously go away," I said. "Why does the sky clear up at sunset?"

"It clears up so it can get colder," was her simple reply.

It might not be sound meteorological science, but it makes sense if you subscribe -- as I do -- to the doctrine that the Bend climate not only sucks profoundly, but actually is malevolent and sadistic.

It teases you with one or two pleasant days and then whacks you in the head with winter again. It taunts you by presenting you with what promises to be a sunny day, only to move the clouds in before noon -- and then pull them away at sunset so the earth and air will lose what little warmth they have been able to absorb during the day, and tomorrow you'll be freezing your nuts off again.

The sequence of photos above, taken over a 12-hour period yesterday from the same spot on my patio, documents this infuriating phenomenon, which is a major contributing factor to Bend's overall suckitudinousness.


Anonymous said...

First off, nice backyard! Shame you can't take it 'with' you someplace SUNNY!?

Secondly, I -have- noticed. And now I'm wishing I hadn't. In this suckiest of Springs I've noticed, just because it's getting later in the day, has no bearing on whether or not it will get warmer!

Much as it does in the 99% REMAINING balance of the World? Our little SUV has a thermo. built into the rearview mirror and I wish it would just go away?

I've lived all over the country and indeed the world and this outright disturbing weather pattern exists nowhere else. Well maybe Tierra Del Fuego..? Patagonia..? Places you wouldn't want to live any more than you would 'here'?

And not a WORD about midwestern storms/twisters! Not that we don't wish the best for them, a tornado takes all of 90 seconds. Normally over open fields. Then it's back to baseball weather within hours. People in MS can have (2) floods, (2) ins. claim checks and STILL get decent weather before WE do! So let's not go there.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"First off, nice backyard!"

Thanks. You should have seen it before some damn developer (a pox upon him) built those crappy houses and blocked off our view.

"Shame you can't take it 'with' you someplace SUNNY!?"

Actually I'm looking forward to not having such a big property to take care of. I'm not getting any younger.

"I've lived all over the country and indeed the world and this outright disturbing weather pattern exists nowhere else."

I've never seen it anywhere else either. It's frickin' bizarre.

Anonymous said...

May closes out as a crapper to end all crappers:

"Monday, May 23rd - 6:00 am

The forecast this week promises to be cooler and wetter than last week. Expect mostly cloudy skies and passing showers. Hail or thunderstorms are possible late this afternoon. Daytime highs near 60 degrees. Tonight, skies will stay mostly cloudy. Overnight lows near 49.

Tomorrow , drier and warmer air moves in. However, high temperatures will stay slightly below the mid to upper 60s. Rain returns Wednesday. Looking ahead to Memorial Day weekend? Right now, computer models show this wet and cool pattern continuing into next weekend."

Another... Memorial Day spent indoors. Every one, I swear my last. These latest trends though pretty much seal the deal. It gives The Quest for Non-Suckitude all the more urgency.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"May closes out as a crapper to end all crappers"

Indeed, even by Bend standards it has been sucktacular beyond all imagining. Aside from the lengthening of the days and a SLIGHT increase in temperatures (highs in 40s and 50s instead of 30s and 40s) I actually can't see any indication of "spring" at all. We had intervals of better weather in January and February than most of what we're getting this month.

Anonymous said...

"We had intervals of better weather in January and February than most of what we're getting this month."

As have we in the valley. Few if any overt signs 'Spring' is even pending? Our Lows have been nothing short of shocking and even the hardiest 20-somethings wouldn't consider an overnight sleep-out!

Another Icelandic eruption is the last thing we need. Shockingly, we're considering adding Florida to our List. Hurricane insurance is a bigee as is the crime, density and of course the mugginess.

I'll LIVE with it! At a certain point you have to ask yourself ( how much worse could it be? ) And unlike OR, The Bust brought some genuine values to real estate.

H. Bruce Miller said...

Speaking of freezing one's nuts off, at this moment it is 9 degrees warmer in Fairbanks, Alaska than it is in Bend, Oregon. Just thought I'd mention it.

I haven't logged a single 70-degree day yet in May, and it looks like I'm not going to.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"Shockingly, we're considering adding Florida to our List."

Yes, Florida is terribly muggy -- so hot and humid in the summer that it's unpleasant to spend time outdoors. Have you considered the Southwest -- Arizona, New Mexico? Lots of warmth and sun without the humidity. Our short list is now down to Hawaii and New Mexico.

Anonymous said...


I was a regular at the very first Housing Bubble Blog. In the early days, nearly all of the articles and posters were from FL. They were after all the first of many bubbles to pop.

What I found after reading all that first hand intel ( day after day ) is that; there are 'many' Florida's! Weather patterns, neighborhoods, crime, recreation, entertainment etc. all can and DO change in a matter of just a few blocks!

After reading their numerous accounts, finally concluded I knew less about FL than about many countries I've been in! And that to dismiss it offhandedly was to my own detriment.

Millions of very happy retirees live there. Must be doing something right? And I see no harm in at least revisiting that location post-bubble.

It may also make sense to re-weigh just how big a factor all that alleged muggieness really adds up to? Personally it's never bothered me, prefer it to shivering or running from the car to the store? In terms of being "closer to the kids"? No, further but then again, nothing is more than a few hours away by air here.

At some point I think the kids will be FINE and would prefer see us enjoying ourselves than knowing we can just jump in the car if they 'need' us? IMHO

H. Bruce Miller said...

If you're living in Florida or some other warm, sunny climate and the kids are living in Oregon, you won't have to worry about traveling to visit the kids -- they'll come and visit YOU.

H. Bruce Miller said...

It's actually getting COLDER in Bend as this day goes on -- was 48 when I got up at 6:30 and is 45 now.

45 degrees (and raining) at 11:32 a.m. on May 25.

And there's a possibility of snow tomorrow. Yes, snow.

No, I can't believe it. It isn't real. It's a fucking nightmare. No place can possibly suck this hard.

Anonymous said...

OMFG! Snoooow? Oh this is too much.

My wife, after years of giving me The Treatment for complaining about OR's weather is now every BIT as much onboard as it's harshest critics!

Look around, this Blog is working! ( If only huh? ) No, Blackdog can't take a 'lot' of credit but people are talking. And they're not talking about building more, bigger, opulent homes. They're not talking about deepening their 'ties' to OR.

( It's now about owning up to the Drear and scripting various forms of exit strategies ) Notice how everyone now responds, "When we sell this place ( or business )" or "when my wife retires" leaving the rest of their response open-ended! I see/hear more every day. And coming from some of the people you'd LEAST expect. NATIVES!


Anonymous said...

go back to Florida Dave!

James said...

The southwest rules!! The Northwest SUCKS!!!!