Monday, October 10, 2011

Why I Never (Well, Hardly Ever) Wear Jeans

I own two pairs of jeans. I put one on occasionally, mostly when I need to do some gardening or other messy chores. Most of the time the jeans just lie in the bottom of my closet. I don't like to wear jeans.

Why? Well, in the first place, although other people seem to think jeans are the most comfortable garment ever invented, I don't agree. I think jeans are uncomfortable. They're heavy, they're stiff, they're scratchy.

I guess if you wear a pair of jeans every day for three or four years they'll get soft and flexible. But who wants to wait that long?

Jeans don't look good on me either. I don't think they look good on anybody. Okay, they look good on women with great bodies. But everything looks good on them.

The other reason I don't wear jeans -- which is probably the big one -- is that everybody in Bend always wears jeans. Next time you're traveling around town, notice how many of the Bendoids you see are wearing jeans. I'd bet the proportion is about eight out of 10 -- nine out of 10, if you just count males. (The 10th guy is wearing Lycra bicycling shorts.)

I've never liked to dress like everybody else, and the male Bend uniform -- jeans and a hoody in the winter, jeans and a T-shirt in the summer -- strikes me as especially monotonous, unattractive, drab and colorless. So I usually wear khakis and a shirt, and throw on a sweater if it's chilly.

And sometimes, when I want to really freak out the yokels, I'll add a sport coat.

26 comments:

Marshall_Will said...

Unfortunately, not just Bend by a longshot. I've gotten used to it but not the offensive/inane Che` t-shirts etc.

Wearing a gag-gift at a private party to show your friends and fans you're a sport is one thing, in public?

What do we expect, our Guv wears jeans 24/7. But what I've noticed is women really find your dressing halfway decent disarming. They seem to know they won't have to brace for profanity/crude behavior.

Why? He's dressed so 'nice'!

H. Bruce Miller said...

Other things being equal, or even close to equal, most women will prefer a well-dressed man to a slob every time.

Jack Elliott said...

Fuddy-duddy.

Marshall_Will said...

Bruce,

It's not about wanting female attention. Whether you're renting a car or ordering dessert, the gals just respond better or respond [period] when you're not dressed exactly like the slob they hope won't be home when they GET there?

She probably has enough slouches/slobs she let in her life. Even other men respond better. You work at Home Depot. Two men just walked in, one looks like his Dad, the other like he just cooked a batch of meth. Which one do you help first?

We -understand- if you're painting the garage. It explains a lot. What it doesn't explain is why you were unable to shave uh, when you got UP or why you have green fur on your teeth?

H. Bruce Miller said...

"Fuddy-duddy."

Logothete.

How Did I Get Here? said...

the male Bend uniform -- jeans and a hoody in the winter, jeans and a T-shirt in the summer -- strikes me as especially monotonous, unattractive, drab and colorless.

You're so "wine and cheese" dude.

That's pretty much the style everywhere. PDX, LA, SF...it's in style right now. The bigger the city the worse it gets. At least you don't see that many flatbillers in Bend.

http://douchebaganimosity.wordpress.com/2011/07/05/what-is-a-flatbiller/


I haven't owned a pair of jeans in 20 years. I liked them back when I was a kid but I went all in on the khakis about 20 years ago and for whatever reason, I haven't worn a pair of jeans since. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle with my khakis and t-shirts topped with a fleece if the temp drops below 25. Sometimes they're long sleeved t-shirts. I've just never been one to get caught up in how I look. Comfort and utility seems to be all I've got when it comes to getting dressed in the morning.

I agree that people tend to pay more attention to someone who's dressed sharp but some of the biggest douche bags I've ever met dress like they're headed to a GQ shoot. It really says very little about who you are. Most of them are probably leveraged up to their necks to dress the part(and have a fancy ride). Girls might fall for it at first but the smart ones know a douche when they see one regardless of how he dresses.

I find using please, thank you, and have a nice day on a regular basis gets me what I need from folks around town.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"some of the biggest douche bags I've ever met dress like they're headed to a GQ shoot."

Trust me, I'd never be mistaken for somebody who stepped out of the pages of GQ.

I don't dress the way I do to impress anybody; I just don't want to wear the same uniform as everybody else in Bend.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"my khakis and t-shirts topped with a fleece if the temp drops below 25."

You don't wear anything over your T-shirt unless the temp gets below 25??? Holy shit.

That's another very Bendish characteristic: insensitivity to cold. No wonder you don't mind the long winters. Are you sure there isn't a penguin in your family tree somewhere?

Marshall_Will said...

Nationally the dress code was irreversibly lax'd some years ago. Can't recall the last time a head waiter had to loan me a tie.

Vote w/ your feet folks. If rest's will seat and serve -anyone- regardless of how vile they might look, never set foot in them again! The Denny's in Eugene for instance? Wow.

The disappointment though largely resides w/ the gals. Mom-jeans aren't cutting it ladies. They only ADD to the depressing weight of Winter Eternal.

Even when an otherwise sharp looking gal has the legs to pull it off, between the high heels, basket hoop earrings, pounds of accessories/Iphone-to-ear and caked on make-up... you could have just worn a dress!

How Did I Get Here? said...

Trust me, I'd never be mistaken for somebody who stepped out of the pages of GQ.

I never said you were a douche bag either.

You don't wear anything over your T-shirt unless the temp gets below 25??? Holy shit.

That's another very Bendish characteristic: insensitivity to cold. No wonder you don't mind the long winters. Are you sure there isn't a penguin in your family tree somewhere?


I just don't get cold real easy unless there is a decent amount of moisture in the air. I'd sleep with the window open all winter if my wife would let me and I can't stand to be more than a layer deep when I'm sleeping. One of my boys is the same way. The other is always cold like his mother.

The other side of that is I simply melt above 90 degrees...I can't stand it. I went to Florida once and that was enough. I'm happiest between 32-65 degrees.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"If rest's will seat and serve -anyone- regardless of how vile they might look, never set foot in them again!"

Good suggestion. And before you leave, let the restaurant manager know about it.

There are, unfortunately, some people who can't afford "good" clothes. But there's no excuse for going to a restaurant in dirty clothes. If you can't afford soap and water, you probably shouldn't be eating in restaurants.

Another thing that really annoys me is the jerkoffs who wear their damn baseball caps (often grimy) throughout the meal. If I'd ever worn a hat at the dinner table when I was a kid my dad woulda smacked it off my head. Were these people raised by fucking wolves?

H. Bruce Miller said...

"The other side of that is I simply melt above 90 degrees...I can't stand it. I went to Florida once and that was enough."

Florida is extremely muggy -- like the entire Southeast. I wouldn't be happy there either.

Hawaii has fairly high humidity but the temps seldom climb above the 80s. I always feel very comfortable there.

Temps in the 90s with low humidity, typical for the Southwest in the summer, are fine with me.

Marshall_Will said...

"And before you leave, let the restaurant manager know about it."

Important step!

Still, I refuse to rule out FL. If for no other reason than it is affordable. And since I won't have to consider a FT snowbird spot for another 20 years, Lord only knows what clutches we'll be in weatherwise?

Btw, in terms of attire, we really should be more supportive when the girls go out of their way. Cheap.Lines.Work! Just b/c you're married doesn't mean they won't appreciate "Love the dress! ( It'll look great crumpled up on the bedroom floor! )

You get the behavior you encourage.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"If I'd ever worn a hat at the dinner table when I was a kid my dad woulda smacked it off my head."

Lest people get the idea that I'm some kind of patrician snob who was raised by governesses and had a personal valet from the age of 10, I should make it clear that I grew up in a working-class, lower-middle-income family. But when I was a kid even working-class Americans had standards of propriety and appropriate behavior, including quaint notions about "table manners."

Rich Ray, Speaking Soley for himself said...

http://www.cultofmac.com/122575/why-steve-jobs-wore-turtlenecks/

How Did I Get Here? said...

I don't know if it's any different today than it was 40 years ago but it seems like there are more crappy parents out there these days and certainly a large percentage of young adults today that just can't figure it out. I know I'm stunned at the manners some of my boys friends don't have. It's really simple but it does take time and effort on the part of the parents. My mom raised me to be respectful and kind. She was and still is a very hard worker so I understood if you wanted to get somewhere, don't stand around and wait for it to be handed to you.

While I broke my mother's heart countless times before I reached the age of 30, I always knew there was a line that I was not willing to cross. Growing up in SoCal, I cold have crossed that line countless times. It was also one of the motivators to get the fuck out of that crap hole.

It really boils down to a generational issue. 2 generations of crappy parenting breeds some fucked up shit. However, I know a lot of really good kids too...

How Did I Get Here? said...

Hawaii has fairly high humidity but the temps seldom climb above the 80s. I always feel very comfortable there.

Ya, it's pretty tough to beat that place. I was talking about it today with a friend. Like I said, I don't think I could live there but I'm gonna ship a westy over that and live in that for a couple months at a time.

75 degree water, waiting for the next set to come in, turtles swimming by as the sun is going down...priceless! I do love it there, no doubt about it. I was there in April/March and I'm already itching but I'll wait until the end of winter again.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"I don't know if it's any different today than it was 40 years ago"

It is. But when I speak of my own childhood I'm talk about 55 years ago.

"I'm gonna ship a westy over that and live in that for a couple months at a time."

I don't think I could live in a little camper van for two months at a time; I like my creature comforts too much. But you make it sound tempting.

Marshall_Will said...

"I don't think I could live in a little camper van for two months at a time; I like my creature comforts too much."

Not even a matter of creature comforts. Sanity. When I stay at the barracks on Base it's about -half- the size of a regular hotel room.

RV-sized 'sink', lock off bathroom and a shower stall just big enough to stand upright in. And I'm not even claustrophobic.

Now imagine you're sharing it w/ your wife. For two months! Can you say.., Have you seen my___?

Guys, I've been pecking at The Ultimate Snowbird Solution for years. There ARE no easy answers. Love HI, love FL, but you're talking airfare and airport HASSLE either way?

I keep coming back to a private ownership of a simple [sunny] largely unimproved lot or small acreage w/ a sprawling pavillion for cooking and lounging and leave the RV for sleeping and civilized rest facilities. Renting an RV 'space' can run $75+ a DAY.

$4,500 for a (2) mos. stay. You could rent a yacht cheaper. Even considered ( I know, God forbid! ) picking Ebay 1 cent timeshares but now you subject yourself to "assessments" and a host of other problems! Suggestions?

Marshall_Will said...

To show how abysmal last summer truly was, the last few days, while perfectly acceptable within the norms for Oct. geniunely seem like a godsend!

While nothing out of the ordinary this is simply the cool side of par for the course. Looking back, when temps used to soar in July, Aug and into Sept, we often did most of our exterior painting in Oct.

It was the ideal month for it. Now even when the weather isn't iffy, I no longer give a rip b/c evidently everyone else has thrown in the towel too?

H. Bruce Miller said...

This fall really hasn't been bad in Bend, except for a few sucky days. October has been a little too cool to qualify as true "Indian summer," but I ain't complaining. Sunshine and highs in the 60s is just fine for October.

Marshall_Will said...

Right and if you 'had' to get some work done outside, you'd have been afforded the latitude to make it happen.

My only intention was to point out that while tolerable I'm really not of a mind to hear a buncha' Well how do you like THEM apples!

In years gone by you'd find yourself in the clutches of a must get done outdoor project wondering where all this rain suddenly 'appeared' from only to realize it was almost November!

Over the last several autumns, anything after Labor Day falls into 'next year fer' sure!' territory.

How Did I Get Here? said...

In years gone by you'd find yourself in the clutches of a must get done outdoor project wondering where all this rain suddenly 'appeared' from only to realize it was almost November!

Over the last several autumns, anything after Labor Day falls into 'next year fer' sure!' territory.


sack up or start those projects in the summer...

Marshall_Will said...

"sack up or start those projects in the summer..."

? That's kinda' the point? 'Summer' started in mid-July here. ( See Bruce's "RIP Summer 2011" post )

Our kids bought a repo home in April. There was plenty of Interior work. Initially we weren't afforded the luxury of fretting over quick & easy fixes like a dash of paint on exterior walls.

That's the eeeeasy stuff. We busied ourselves w/ trivials like getting a toilet that flushed and shower that ran.

And so it went. But... at some point you're going to run OUT of Interior renovation and the window to get outside hasn't even presented itself yet! I expressed polite reservation we might not get the chance.

Their Offer on the home started in Dec. '10. So tired of just sneaking under the wire, year after year... AND spending the few nice days we DO have w/ a paint brush/hammer in my hand?

Going on 30 years of Starting Up and SACKING Up thankyouverymuch! It's time to look into sacking OUT.

Marshall_Will said...

Check out those LOWS Bros'.

Detailed Forecast Text Forecast
Details Details Details Details Details Details Details Details Details Details Tonight
Oct 27 Fri
28 Sat
29 Sun
30 Mon
31 Tue
Nov 1 Wed
2 Thu
3 Fri
4 Sat
5
SevereSevereSevereSevereSevereSevereSevereSevereSevereSevere
Partly Cloudy Mostly Cloudy Mostly Cloudy Sunny Partly Cloudy Sunny Partly Cloudy Few Showers Mostly Sunny Partly Cloudy
--
High
60° 57° 63° 50° 50° 57° 48° 51° 51°
31°
Low
37° 29° 33° 18° 22° 29° 25° 28° 31°

Egad. 18 Deg. In October. Well. Whatever shall it be in Feb? Bwahahahahaha.

Yeah, cold as sh!t here too. Way too cold to be thinking about most... anything home related. Called K' Falls and it was 36, at NOON! Here we go again. Stated Highs look pleasant enough but take for ever to attain and quickly wane. Kinda' like Oregon in general.

Marshall_Will said...

Fall looks pretty much pooched across the board. No relief in sight. Drear closes in. May be last transmission. Over..?

Throwing darts. Time to bust out how screwed it is someplace else. Wasn't there an earthquake in New Guinea? A massive mudslide in ( insert squatter hovel here ____ )