Thursday, September 8, 2011

We're Fucked -- The Bitch Is Coming Back

My colleague in bloggery, Jack Elliott, recently forwarded to me a story in Science Daily headlined: "Evidence suggests La Nina will return."

La Nina (Spanish for "The Bitch") is a weather pattern that pushes the jet stream northward, which makes the Southwest hotter and drier than normal and the Northwest and Pacific Coast colder and wetter than normal. La Nina was blamed for the record-breaking suckiness of the spring and early summer experienced by Washington, Oregon and Northern California this year.

And now The Bitch is getting ready to return. At any rate that's what the scientists at NOAA's Climate Prediction Center say.

"In July, the CPC issued a La Niña Watch, indicating favorable conditions for the development of another La Niña event in the next six months," the Science Daily story reports. "With colder-than-average waters once again upwelling in the tropical Pacific Ocean, La Niña appears to be re-forming.

"'Temperatures below the sea surface have decreased quite markedly in the last few months,' said David Unger, meteorologist at the CPC.

"In addition, he said, the Climate Forecast System model -- a state-of-the-art climate model that integrates interactions between Earth's oceans, land, and atmosphere -- has been impressive in its prediction capabilities in the last few years and has been increasingly more confident in the development of a La Niña this winter."

This news only confirms my determination to make the coming winter the last one I spend in Bend, Oregon.

And I'm already thinking about booking a place in Palm Springs for March, April and May, when the interminable Bend winter really starts to induce thoughts of murder and mayhem.

19 comments:

How Did I Get Here? said...

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did already know that though...

H. Bruce Miller said...

Are you only doing that do annoy me, or are you really a dick?

How Did I Get Here? said...

seems like those would be one in the same or a little of both...

I think we tend to disagree on what makes a good winter. We're good like that.

H. Bruce Miller said...

I like winter, actually. What I don't like is a winter that drags on for nine or ten months.

How Did I Get Here? said...

and for me, this hot weather is a bag of dicks.

I have no desire to live in a climate above 65 degrees. I hate everything about the heat of summer(and the fires), I don't mind it being short.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"I have no desire to live in a climate above 65 degrees."

So why don't you move to Alaska? Or the Falkland Islands? Or Reykjavik?

Carl said...

Or even the coast of Oregon?

Jack Elliott said...

Hey, "How Did I Get Here?":

I am less fond of hot weather than I am of cold weather. I have a fairly wide range of temperature acceptance; Mrs Elliott, by contrast, is comfortable only between 74F and 86F. Below that, and it's "frickin' freezing in here," above that and it's "like a sauna!". But if I had my 'druthers, I'd say no hotter than 85F and no cooler than 40F.

I prefer cooler. A man can get stuff done when it's cool. Heat makes it uncomfortable.

It's the old codgers, like H. Bruce Miller, "Bend's Andy Rooney," who get easily chilled due to lack of activity more strenuous than smoking cigars and playing chess.

But when it's winter and there is snow on the ground, I like it to stay below freezing else you get this wet shit on the ground, stuff they call "mud" and the like.

Jeremiah Johnson: You wouldn't happen to know what month of the year it is?
Bear Claw: Why no, I truly wouldn't. I'm sorry, pilgrim. Winter's a long time going?
Jeremiah Johnson: [exhausted] Ah.
Bear Claw: Stays long this high.
Jeremiah Johnson: March. Maybe, April.
Bear Claw: March maybe. I don't believe April. [rising to depart] March is a green muddy month down below. Some folks like it -- farmers, mostly.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"It's the old codgers, like H. Bruce Miller, "Bend's Andy Rooney," who get easily chilled due to lack of activity more strenuous than smoking cigars and playing chess."

Hey, I take walks!

Jack Elliott said...

"Walks," he says.

Taking your "accessory dog" out for a stroll to the mailbox to see if your pension check has been delivered isn't an actual activity, you know.

How Did I Get Here? said...

Where'd my post go? The one about I don't drink enough to live on the Oregon coast or the Falkland Islands.

You didn't can that did you?

No, I can deal with the short few weeks of heat here because 3/4 of the year, the temps are in my zone. I forget what year it was...97 I think and we had like 3 weeks of 100+ degree days and I though I was gonna melt. That was also the summer that I figured out that manual labor was not my thing. Normal summers here are 3 weeks of 90+ and then it's mid 70's to mid 80's.

H. Bruce Miller said...

"Taking your "accessory dog" out for a stroll to the mailbox to see if your pension check has been delivered isn't an actual activity, you know."

But it's a long walk to my mailbox!

"Where'd my post go?"

Never saw it. Honest.

"I think and we had like 3 weeks of 100+ degree days"

That never happened. Three DAYS, maybe.

How Did I Get Here? said...

I'm pretty sure it did happen and for 2-3 weeks straight. 97 or 98 I think. I suppose it could have been 99 but dang...you don't remember that summer? It was ugly and it was the whole PNW is some sort of freak pattern.

H. Bruce Miller said...

I remember warm summers, but three weeks of 100+ never happened in all the 25 summers I've been here. I doubt there have been three consecutive weeks of 100-degree temperatures in the entire history of Bend.

How Did I Get Here? said...

you were probably on vacay in the Falkland Islands

H. Bruce Miller said...

Ha! But seriously: The all-time record high for Bend was 104; on the two "hottest" months of the year the average high is only in the low 80s.

Also, the mean number of days PER YEAR with a high of 90 or above is only 13.8.

So three consecutive WEEKS of 100-degree temperatures in Bend, Oregon? Nope, can't believe it. No friggin' way. If you can prove me wrong by producing reliable data, go ahead. But until then, I just can't believe it.

How Did I Get Here? said...

I'll dig and see what I can come up with. I swear it happened...at least I swear I remember it happening.

H. Bruce Miller said...

You probably were on vacay in Death Valley.

How Did I Get Here? said...

fugged up on payote...