People are always coming up to me on the street, in Costco, in bars and other places and saying, "Blackdog, what's the matter with you? You're always writing about how much Bend sucks. Can't you find anything good to say about Bend?"
After a while I realized their question was valid. There must be some good things about living in Bend, and in the interest of fairness and open-mindedness I should give them some recognition.
So I sat down and pondered for seven or eight hours and came up with five good things to say about Bend:
1. Do you have a large collection of sweaters and love to wear them? In Bend, you can wear one almost every day. Likewise for sweatshirts, parkas and mackinaws.
2. Do you love to spend the evening in front of a crackling blaze in the fireplace? In Bend, you can do it year-round.
3. Do you aspire to pass as an intellectual? In Bend, if your IQ is higher than that of the average cantaloupe you'll be considered a genius.
4. Do you like being unemployed? Bend's the place for you.
5. You won't have to spend money on sunscreen and air conditioners.
That about does it for me, but maybe my readers can come up with more good things to say about Bend. If so, you're welcome to do it.